转自豆瓣
啊,背景是,某人(Shannon Walkley,以下称“乡农”)丢了只猫,拜托设计师朋友(David Thorne,以下称“大痿”)给他做个寻猫海报,于是两人之间囧囧有神的的邮件往来开始了...
对了,那猫叫Missy,以下就称“咪细”吧
(翻译出自本莔,乱译也出自本莔...)
请看...
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: 大痿
Subject: Poster
大痿啊!我家咪细昨天跑出去就不见了,你看着办给我做个寻猫启示吧!我就你一个设计师朋友,只能靠你啦!!
这是我家咪细,我就那么一张照片,你给做一下吧!!
万谢万谢!
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From:大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: 乡农
Subject: Re: Poster
乡农!我很震惊!还好我坐在椅子上看你的邮件,要是刚才爬树的时候看,我非得摔下来不可。你没事吧?节哀顺变……你能继续工作实在太牛了!想想你家咪细独自在外流离失所饱经风霜风餐露宿茕茕孑立形影相吊,我的心肝儿哟!没准她还在那扯着细小的嗓子叫“乡农,乡农,阿拉想侬了……”
虽然老子手里还有一堆活,不过,我现在就给你弄这个东西,兄弟的事,一定要挺的!!!
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Poster
大痿,阿拉泪奔鸟!阿拉晓得你不太喜欢猫的,但我真的很担心啊!!!实在是麻烦你了,我下午1点就要出去了。
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From: 大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: 乡农
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster
啊呀,乡农啊!我啥时候说过不喜欢猫了呢?有一次我去个party,花了老价钱买了双G-star的靴子,妈的老贵了!!!不过我太喜欢了,所以虽然小了2个号我还是买了。那么小的鞋,我连袜子都不能穿,连脚趾甲都剪了……
那地方很近,我就走过去了,到那里的时候NND脚都没知觉了,我啪得一声摔在一个人身上,饮料洒他一身,那哥们儿就冲过来打了我一顿……妈的你为了条美特斯邦威至于么!!!
后来,这哥们儿坐到个猫上面,那猫一下子就怒了,乱搞一气还在那人脑袋上洒了泡尿!!啊哈哈哈哈哈,太解气了!那个猫我喜欢!
那个寻猫启示做出来了,不要谢我哦!
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
大痿啊,这个咋那么像电影海报呢……普通一点就好了。而且咪细咋那么小呢……
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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
乡农啊,设计的事情你就不懂了。这代表你家咪细迷失在了另一个空间。
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
我日!我昨天哭了一晚没睡,都他妈伤心死了!你以为很好玩是不是。你就不能做得普通一点么?求求你把照片弄大点,文字通俗点,再来点彩色吧!!
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From: 大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
乡农!我好歹也干了几年设计师了!我原本以为你是很理解我的!
告诉你吧,我们不欢迎你这种建议,就像我不会去你家教你怎么发邮件、怎么翻墙。
哎,算了,都那么多年朋友了,就帮你改下吧!
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
我靠,这比之前那个还要不好!你就不能把咪细的全身放出来么?咪细失踪这几个字太J8蠢了!就不能写个“LOST”么?
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From: 大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: 乡农
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
草!!
我就要五样东西:照片,“咪细”,“LOST”,我电话,啥时候走丢的。
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From: 大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: 乡农
Subject: Awww
满足你!
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Awww
我日,这是谁家的鬼猫……我不给你咪细的照片了么。。。
(PS:看到这里我毫无节制的喷了)
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From: 大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: 乡农
Subject: Re: Re: Awww
我当然知道,不过这个更可爱一点嘛!外面那么危险,你家咪细多半是不行了!干脆你到时候按照这个换一只。
而且,要是有人打电话给你说:“我没看见这只橘毛的,我就看见有只黑白相间的被车碾过,断了后脚,你就可以拒绝他,能省老大一笔钱啊!!”
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww
大哥,我求求你了。。。你放我给你的那张照片吧
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From: 大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: 乡农
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
妈的我哪来着2000刀啊!你卖了我得了。。。
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From:大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: 乡农
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
你就不能别管有没有赏金了啊…………求你了,我就剩10分钟了。。。
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From: 大痿
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: 乡农
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
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From: 乡农
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: 大痿
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
好吧………………………………………………………………………………………
就这样吧,我认了…… |